This past week has been one of the worst weeks for me in regards to my mental health. All week, I struggled with my self worth, hating every single part of my body and personality, and feeling like I am not capable of love. Every night ended with me crying and thinking about how awful I was and how I would be better off just closing off from everyone and keeping all of my issues to myself. I am beyond frustrated with myself because a week ago I was the happiest I had been in months. I thought to myself,”what’s wrong with me?”

“Why am I so discontent with my life? Nothing is going wrong, I have no reason to be sad.” I wallowed for a little bit longer this week and then I came to a realization: IT IS OKAY TO STRUGGLE. Society tells us that once we have been diagnosed with mental illness and get the help we need, it’s not normal to still have bad breakdowns or “bad days”.

The reality of this? It is completely normal to have a bad day or even a bad week. Mental illness, specifically depression, took complete control of my life for a long time. This means that my therapy and medicine isn’t going to complete heal me. I still have bad days and bad weeks where I barely have the energy to get out of bed and go to school. My brain is in a daze while I’m in class and at work, and I come home and think about my past traumas, my self hate, and more. BUT, I have realized that this is fairly normal for me. I have a really good few weeks, and then all of a sudden my depression comes out of nowhere and hits me like a train. Once an episode hits, I have it, and then continue with my life feeling so much better.

This pattern is fairly normal for me, but what should be taken into consideration is that you need to realize what is normal for you and your habits. If you have been handling your depression or illness very well and then suddenly the pattern changes to where you are constantly hitting rough patches, it might be a sign that you need to see a doctor and or therapist to figure out what is the cause for this new pattern.  Sometimes this happens because our body becomes accustomed to our dosage of our medicine and therefore doesn’t work properly, or it could simply be that you need to find a new way to cope with your mental illness.

To conclude, mental health is a constant battle, no matter how long you have been dealing with it. Illness is a pain to overcome, but always remember that there is always going to be a day filled with happier memories. Search for the beauty in the struggle so one day you can see how strong and courageous you truly were and continue to be.

Never forget, this is truly a wonderful life.

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